chapter 2: venicekind

Jojo was the mad scientist. It had been years since he had the opportunity to experiment on anybody other than himself. His first big science accolade took place at the young age of 4 years old when he managed to remove a wart from himself & mutate it into a self sustaining organism. He recieved the pulitzer prize one year later for his book detailing how he "hypothetically" would do it. Now at the ripe old age of 188 - he has long ago stolen the body of Koshie The Deathless, rejuvinated all of it's cells, and then used a self destructive robot to transplant his head on to Koshie's body before the robot immediatley exploded. He is immortal because of his limitless scientific knowledge!

Venice walks into a bar on Blyat street in Cyka, Russia. The bar doesn't have a name, and some say it doesn't even exist. It has no owner that anybody seems to be aware of, and the bartender works for tips ONLY. The shadiest of individuals can be found amongst the crowds that gather here. Two men at the end of the bar were glaring at venice as she walked across the room. One of the men stood up, walked to a hidden door and seemed to punch a code into a pad hidden behind the wall. A woman walked out of the hidden door. She was young, she was old, she was middle-aged...she was all of them! (and none of them). She had a swagger about herself that t turned into a limp from time to time. She was beautiful, but she was UGLY. Everybody was at odds about whether they should try for a kiss, or gut the pig & fry up some bacon!

This mysterious enigma of a woman walked straight to Venice. "It's about damn time you show up." The mystery woman casually (and seductively, and distigustingly) says to Venice. "Do I know you?" Venice responds. "You should... considering that... I'M... I... I'M YOUR GRANDMOTHER!" the mystery woman snapped back at Venice! Venice didn't know what to say! She was appalled. Her grandmother interrupted her reflection & said "I've had my men searching the globe for you.. ever since your parents were murdered by that... maniac named Manque!" Mr. Manque?! No.. he's been like a father to me ever sinec Mom & Dad left us!!" Venice exclaimed with tears enveloping her surprised eyes. Her grandmother sighed a sigh of frustration, bent down eye level to Venice & whispered "He poisoned them that night, they never left you willingly.. they were TAKEN from you!"

"By the way, my name is Elizabeth. You may call me Lizo if you'd like." Venice's grandmother finally introduced herself. "Come with me, I have somebody you must meet. For things are about to become VERY grim for you my child. For I have had a premonition of the forthcoming of MANQUEIND! We will all lose our lives.. unless YOU fight for us all." Elizabeth explained in great detail the horrors that Venice would face in the next several years. "How do I know you're not just some crazy old

(or young) lady?" Venice said to her grandmother. "Oh you doubt that i'm actually your grandmother?? Here I have a maternity test!" Elizabeth reaches in her purse & pulls out an at home pregnancy test. "What are you planning on doing with that?" Venice exclaims to her grandma. "Russian pregnancy test doubles as maternity test. We both pee at same time & if positive - I am your grandmother!" Elizabeth reassures Venice & she agrees to take the test with her grandma. When they both pee on the pregnancy/maternity test, they notice that it does turn positive.. but instead of just one + sign there were two! "What does that mean grandma?" Elizabeth picks up the box the test came in & seemed to be reading the instructions. "Oh, it seems to mean I am just ABSOLUTELY 100% GUARANTEED to be your grandmother! One plus means mother, and two plus signs means grandmother!"

Elizabeth leads Venice to a secret room in the back of the bar's storage room, but not before grabbing a big bottle of vodka to carry & drink along the way. They arrive at a door made of stone. It had to be at least a foot thick, and was carved with runes and math equations all over it. "Stand back" Elizabeth hollered at Venice." Venice jumped back at the drunk woman's aggresive request, and watched her grandmother take a large swig of vodka that she held in her moth, pull out a zippo lighter & spit fire ALL over the stone door! The door immediatly began to glow a bright orange and all the runes & math equations light up like LEDs. The door opens and before them stands a man. A man named Jojo. "My algorithim told me that you both would be here at this exact moment in this exact place looking for ME." Jojo said excitedly at the women. "That's a pretty reliable algorithim" Lizo responded. "So what is it you want from me, exactly? Don't think I forgot about the last time.." Jojo said in a much more serious tone. "This won't be like last time! You know that was extenuating circumstances." Lizo sounded almost desperate in her tone of voice. Venice was confused. "Oh you know I can't say no to you.. Hot stuff" Jojo all of a sudden struck a pose and was seductive in his tone of voice! Lizo giggled to herself a sigh of relief & said to Jojo; "I'm gonna need a few bio upgrades for my granddaughter." "You got it Hot mama, I'll need just one hair & a stoole sample, and we'll be done in less than 12hrs! Immediately, completely on the spot.. Venice pooped right in Jojo's hand, and plucked out a single hair that she stuck right on top of the pile of poo sort of like a cherry on top of a sundae.

Back in the lab Jojo was running his diagnositics & experiments to deliver the bio upgrades Lizo requested, when all of a sudden his algorithim board caught his attention. It seemed to imply that he was on a sub optimal path, and that cloning Venice was actually the most efficient use of his & everybody's use of time and resources. So that's what he did. Before sunrise he had 5 young Venice clones beginning their lives & growth in pods underneath his laboratory.

*Knock knock knock* Lizo & Venice have arrived early in the morning at Jojo's lab the day after their curious conversation. *Knock knock knock KNOCK* Lizo was banging impatiently on Jojo's lab door. Suddenly - a familiar voice came through over an intercom system & said "the door is open! come on in, I've got something extra special to show the both of you! However, it's not quite ready to take with you yet." Jojo beckoned them in, and they obliged. Once inside the lab Jojo came running up to Venice & Lizo yelling "just wait until you both see what I've got in store!" He grabbed both of them by the hand & yanked them to follow him deep into the underground pits beneath his lab! There they saw that appeared to be overdeveloped embryos in large pods, and even more odd.. they all appeared to look similar to Venice.. only much more troglodyte-like. "No! What have you done Jojo?! They're absolutely beautiful! I love them! But I hate them so much all at the same time!" Elizabeth began laughing hysterically, "you've really outdone yourself this time Jojo!" Lizo began hysterically crying and thanked him over and over for cloning her granddaughter. "Grandma Lizo! What the freck is going on?! Why do these dwarf lizards look so much like me!?" Venice said in an exasperated, almost terrified voice. "You don't loooOOOooooOOOoooove my work?" Jojo said in a sly tone with a smirk upon his face. "Well my algorithim does, and frankly I think you should be thanking me little girl."